BONUS FRIDAY

Jessica Simpson was spotted leaving the W Magazine New York Affair Party last night looking like Jenna Jameson's goth sister. Did I miss a memo or something? Is duck the new look these days? Because I've seen ducks. And I don't want to have sex with ducks. Well maybe except for Marge. She's this plump little number at the park and you should see the way she eats bread and flaps her wings. I don't want to say "hot", but, wait, what the hell am I talking about? She's a duck. I'm firing my therapist.